A Cell Leader’s Journey - The Holy Discontent That Led Me Here
by C. Lee
I had been a Christian my whole life.
Cell ministry, church leadership, Sunday services — this was my world, and it gave me a sense of fulfilment and purpose. But somewhere along the way I felt it was repetitive and wondering if this was all my life would amount to.
I grew up in a Pentecostal church in Melbourne. My parents did church planting for a decade, so ministry work was what I was exposed to and naturally followed suit. When the Lord led me to Singapore after I got married — and really, why would anyone want to leave Australia? — I followed the call.
Cell ministry became the spine of my Christian life here.
The Unrest I Didn’t Have Words For
And yet again, even being in a totally different country, dealing with different kinds of people, it was feeling flat and dry. It was all “good” works but nothing out of the ordinary for me.
I looked around at my world and realised I wasn't connecting with anyone who wasn't already a believer. I had relatives here in Singapore, and besides them, there just wasn't anything more — no pre-believers, no one on the edges, no one searching. My life revolved around cell and church. I didn't think this was wrong, but something in me kept asking whether this was the whole picture.
I'd call it a “holy unrest” — actually, “holy discontent” is probably more the word. I felt the Lord had led me to Singapore for something, and so the question just kept surfacing: is this it? Is this really all there is?
What The Old Model Looked Like
I reflected on the many years in my role as a cell leader, it was essentially maintenance work. Making sure everyone in cell was spiritually healthy, that everyone was okay — that was all I knew to do.
When it came to outreach, the model emphasised is through invitation; inviting family and friends to special church outreach events. And if something went wrong with a member, I'd come in like the fire brigade, deal with what needed dealing with, and move on.
I understood the value of that. I wasn't cynical about it. But somewhere underneath the busyness and the faithfulness, I was feeling the limits. Is this really it?
Is this all of discipleship?
That question was what the Lord used to move me.
What Changed
I crossed paths with friends, who had just come back to Singapore and were exploring disciple-making movements (DMM). They were asking what it might look like to see discipleship move virally in a city.
As I listened to them sharing their stories, something in me just lit up. This sounded really interesting. This sounded like what I was searching for. So At the next opportunity I had, I went through LMT training (now DMTT https://urbanwheatsingapore.org/info-dmtt ) and then ITGM ( https://urbanwheatsingapore.org/info-itgm1 ) and what was meant to be a quiet personal exploration became something much bigger, much faster than I had expected.
My wise husband suggested I let my pastor know what I was exploring. I thought I would be just giving pastor a casual heads-up, but his response surprised me, “Why don't you take a team and go through the training together?”
Wow! There was just one hitch. I had no team!
So I prayed, and the Lord just started bringing names to mind — people I hadn't even spoken to about any of this yet. I'd approach them, share where I was, tell them about the training. About five or six of us came together.
What I was stepping into was a significantly refreshing picture of what a cell leader embodied: equipping, empowering, sending forth. You take people, you journey with them, they find their call, they go, and then you get new people and start again. Going-round-the-wheel kind of thing.
It was more work, more heart, more everything — and for the first time in a long time, I felt like I was doing what I was actually made for!
An Invitation
If you've felt that same kind of holy unrest — if you've been doing the same things for a while and you're wondering where the fruit is, where the joy is, whether there's just more — I want to say: you're probably right that there's more.
I wouldn't describe DMM as another method. It's really more of an invitation to go back to Scripture, but with a much more open mind.
A lot of what I carried from years of church context is mostly second-hand — convictions shaped by what I heard preached, patterns inherited from what I always had seen done.
What I found in going through the training was something different: getting the personal revelation myself, directly from Scripture. And when that happened, it was absolutely life-changing. It opened up my understanding of discipleship in ways I didn't know were closed.
That's what the holy discontent was pointing toward, I think.
The Lord had something more in mind — and the restlessness was how I knew to keep looking.
Getting practical
As you think about God's vision for your city and/or affinity group:
Read Luke 10:2. Jesus tells his disciples that the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few — and then he sends them out. What does it feel like to read that as a personal address?
How does the feeling of “holy unrest” in relation to discipleship or outreach resonate with you?
The writer describes a shift from “maintaining” to “equipping, empowering, and sending”. Which of those three words feels most unfamiliar or challenging in your current context?
C Lee is happily married with three sons. She leads a cell group based in a church setting and volunteers in a school community with a focus to support parents of children with educational needs. Her heart is for making disciples to reach the lost and broken.
© 2026 C Lee. All rights reserved.
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