Letting Go So Others Can Lead
By Kumar P.
The Christian culture I'm part of has many long-standing traditions, and I'm trying to bring something new into it here. It's a tough one.
That's the tension I've lived with for years — as an institutional leader in my city, I carry formal authority, and I've learned to use that authority by giving it away on purpose, so the next generation can lead.
The Old DNA and the New DNA
I didn't come to disciple-making movement thinking with a blank slate.
I was formed by what I call "old church culture" — a hierarchical, autocratic system where a leader speaks and people listen. My denominational position and the culture I’m in still carries that same expectation from the people around me.
I've found that stepping toward something more inclusive costs me directly: when I try to be more inclusive and bring people together, those around me don't like it. I’m not following the rules.
The whole process is quite excruciating, because I’m trying to lead others towards change while simultaneously unlearning my own old pattern while still standing inside the structure that shaped me.
It is genuinely hard work, but I believe the effort is worth it.
A Prayer for the Next Generation
The clearest sign of that choice is a prayer I now pray constantly.
I found it while reading, and I've started praying it myself: “Lord, help me identify those young, emerging leaders who are coming up behind me.”
I'm honest with myself about what I'm guarding against — becoming a block where they want to really go. That prayer has names attached to it now: leaders like Priya, Rakesh, Anil and Deepa, younger voices who have genuinely caught the vision of the movement and are on fire.
I want to be the one clearing the road, not standing in it.
Coaching Instead of Controlling
That posture shows up in how I work with people. I just keep doing what I'm doing: one person at a time.
You have to touch people one person at a time.
Right now I'm guiding a young man who has tattoos on his body. He doesn't go to church, and he doesn't like being in the church community, because he thinks he might not be accepted with all those tattoos. So he asks me, "What do you think of my tattoos?"
I don't give him my answer, I serve him with questions that draw out what he is hungry for: "What do you think? What are you thinking about? What's next in your life?" My hope is that I can introduce him to Discovery Bible Study, but I'm waiting for the right time and it needs to fit what he wants.
Like these younger leaders - they have things on their hearts and they have capacity to try new things at this stage of their lives, but they need support and encouragement from behind: "Just go ahead."
One person, one conversation, at a time — that's the method I trust.
When the Senior Leader Isn't There
None of this is theoretical for me; I’m seeing younger leaders emerge who are already out ahead of me, running fellowships and reaching people I never would have reached the old way.
The real test of releasing people is what happens when they actually go — and when there's no one senior standing behind them.
A group of younger leaders I now mentor found themselves in a situation where they needed to help a woman in their community who was possessed with a tormenting spirit. Their first impulse was to call on me or my senior colleague to help, but we weren't available. They were the only people there, so they had to do whatever they needed to do.
The woman was freed and accepted Christ, and her daughter and husband followed her — an entire family reached by young leaders still feeling their way.
If I had been available that day, they would have stepped back and let me lead. Because I wasn't, they discovered what they could do with Jesus on their own.
Better Than Some Theologians
Releasing people isn't only about young leaders stepping into hard moments. It's also about ordinary believers growing into gifts nobody expected.
I think of a particular a woman in one of our Discovery groups. She once struggled simply to read the Bible, but has grown so fluent and insightful in sharing it that I'd say she's better than some trained theologians I know!
In the old way, a woman like that would have stayed in her seat, listening quietly, while someone like me spoke from the front. Given room to engage the text herself, she has grown far beyond what anyone expected.
That's why I keep praying the same prayer and keep choosing the harder path of letting go. The people coming up behind me don't need me to lead every step. They need me to get out of the way, ask good questions, and trust God to do the rest.
Getting Practical
As you think about God's vision for your city and/or affinity group:
Where in your own leadership do you feel the pull back toward old, familiar patterns — and where is God asking you to let go instead?
Who are the emerging leaders God may be putting in front of you right now? How can you more actively clear a path for them to grow?
What opportunities are there in your city or region for peer learning and encouragement with others who share a passion for raising up the next generation of leaders?
Kumar P. is a pastor, educator, and team leader with a deep heart for seeing God’s movement grow through people, communities, faith, and education. He is passionate about serving others, nurturing the next generation, and equipping people to live out their faith, leading with humility, integrity, and a spirit of service.
© 2026 Kumar P. All rights reserved
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