Not In A Hurry

By Theodore X.

Photo by Barrett Baker on Unsplash

I was cooking this morning when the Scripture came up on my phone.

God did not send his Son to condemn the world, but that through him the world might be saved (John 3:17). And I was thinking about something I'd been sitting with for a while now — the shift I'd had to make in how I actually relate to people who don't yet know God.

For a long time, there was a pressure underlying my conversations with people.

A pressure to get somewhere. To say the right thing, at the right moment, in the right way, and have them cross a line. Close the deal, so to speak. That's how I thought about it. And honestly, it took me a while — longer than I'd like to admit — to let that go.

We're not in a hurry. We're not trying to close the deal.

That sounds simple. It wasn't, for me.

But it changed everything about how I show up.

What Worldviews Taught Me About Compassion

Some time back, I went through some teaching on worldviews — how people understand reality, why they believe what they believe, what shapes the lens through which they see everything.

And something shifted.

When you understand that people come from genuinely different worldviews, you have more compassion. Because you realise: maybe they don't want to see it. Or maybe they can't — because of where they're coming from. These are different things. Resistance and genuine inability to see are different things. And the second one deserves patience.

If someone has grown up in a framework where there is no personal God, no relational meaning, no Creator who is interested in them — their inability to hear the gospel isn't stubbornness. It's the shape of their world. You don't argue someone out of their world. You invite them on a journey. You give them time to see what God sees for them. You stay in the conversation. You come back.

That's what John 3:17 was saying to me this morning. God didn't send his Son to push. He sent his Son to save. There's a patience in that.

Ninety Minutes In A Restaurant, And I Said Almost Nothing

A friend of mine called me recently — someone I'd discipled many years ago, Bernard. He asked if I could meet with his brother, who had just had an encounter with God. There were some things in his life, some real weight he was carrying, and Bernard thought I could speak into it.

So we met. The three of us, in a restaurant at a shopping mall. Bernard's brother began to talk — sharing the things that were going on, the things he was wrestling with.

And for each situation, each piece he brought up, I did the same thing. I pulled out a scripture. I said, “Read this.” Then I asked three questions.

What does this scripture say?

What is God telling you?

What do you think you should do?

Over and over. Different scriptures, different situations, same three questions. For about an hour and a half.

I didn't teach him anything. I didn't explain what the passages meant. I didn't give him my interpretation or my application. I just put the Word in front of him and asked him what he heard.

At the end, he was full of joy. Genuinely. He thought I'd preached — I have no idea how, but that's what he said later. He thought I'd done something. But I know I didn't do anything. The Word of God just worked.

He left motivated for what was to come in his life. Full of something that wasn't there when he first sat down.

Three Questions You Can Take With You Today

I'm not sure I'd call it a method. It's more of a posture. But the three questions are simple enough that anyone can use them, in almost any conversation, with almost any scripture.

What does this scripture say? — Just ask them to read it and tell you what they see. You'll be surprised what people notice when you don't front-load your interpretation.

What is God telling you? — This is the personal question. What is God saying to this person, in their situation, from this passage? Let them answer. Resist filling the silence.

What do you think you should do? — The obedience question. Where does this land for them, practically? Again — let them answer.

That's it. You're not a teacher in this posture. You're a companion. You're sitting with someone while the Word does what the Word does.

And the Word is very good at its job.

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Getting Practical

A Scripture — John 3:16–17

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him."

As you think about God's vision for your city and/or affinity group:

1) What does this passage tell us about the spirit in which God approaches people who don't yet know him — and how might that shape the spirit in which we do?

2) Where do you feel internal pressure in conversations with people who don't know God? What would it look like to release that pressure and simply invite them on a journey?

3) Think of one person in your life who is open to spiritual conversation. Can you think of a Scripture that would speak to something in their life right now? Could you ask them the three questions?

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Born and bred in Southeast Asia, T. Xavier has thirty years of living as Kingdom worker in Europe and Asia - sometimes ‘full time’, sometimes tentmaking. He is currently serving with an urban Disciple Making Movement Team in his city.

© 2026 Theodore X. All rights reserved.