Just Start Conversations: Three Things I've Learned About Evangelism
By J. Pietiläinen
Photo by Claudio Schwarz on Unsplash
J. Pietiläinen and his wife are “Next Gen” harvest workers in Finland, part of national and local teams pursuing a disciple-making movement vision in their city and nation.
If you find this encouraging, you can access J. Pietiläinen’s second article in this series here.
Okay, let's be honest. When you hear someone talk about "evangelism" how do you feel? For me and a lot of people I know, it's this "ugh" feeling.
It's intimidating, right? And I get it because I've been there.
I'm talking to someone, we're having a good time, maybe playing Mario Kart or just hanging out, and then there's this voice in my head telling me: "You have to stab them with Jesus! You have to do it!"
Like we're having this great conversation about their life, their brokenness, and then I'm trying to shoehorn in Jesus dying on the cross in this very weird way. This person knows nothing about Him, it doesn't fit the conversation at ALL, and I'm just... doing it because that's how I've been trained.
I'm not saying it's wrong, but it's weird. And people feel it. That slimy feeling.
So here are three things that have really helped me as I've learned to have spiritual conversations in my context (Finland), mainly with students aged 18 to 30.
Take what's useful for your harvest field and ignore the rest!
3 Things That Helped Me Learn To Have Spiritual Conversations
1. If You Don't Know How to Have a Conversation, You Don't Know How to Have a Spiritual Conversation.
This is pretty simple, but I know people who don't have any idea how to have conversations.
Really.
I've seen it happen.
Someone learns to "draw the three circles" or "the Bridge diagram" or whatever gospel presentation, and they approach someone: "Hey, I would like to draw you a picture. Is that ok?"
And the person thinks, "Who is this random guy?" So often, people just want to run away.
So here's what has helped me: every time, wherever I go, I'm just going to start a conversation. That's it.
Let me tell you about Niko. I was exhausted after my history class and just wanted to sleep. But I'd been learning this principle about starting conversations, so I went over: "Hey, what's your name?" We chatted for ten minutes about classes and geography. Then I said, "I'd really like to get to know you more. Can we eat together sometime?" He said yes.
Immediately, I had a connection just by having a conversation. It's a seed, a relationship I can continue later.
2. Let Go of Our Agenda for Others. Focus on Our Agenda for Ourselves.
The feeling of "I have to pack everything into this one moment"—we need to let go of that, because people feel the agenda.
The Gospel message is important. But when we let go of our agenda for other people, we have deeper connections, more opportunities for gospel conversations, more chances to read the Bible together.
Our agenda for ourselves is about intentionality.
I've learned skills for moving conversations from casual to meaningful to spiritual. But I don't have to force them.
I'm a disciple of Jesus, a sent one. Wherever I go, I am intentional about bringing the news. But I can do that without forcing a formula every time.
The next week, Niko and I ate together. I was genuinely curious. He shared his story briefly—very briefly: "I was born. Now I'm studying at university" (that's very Finnish). Then he asked about mine. I rambled for ten minutes about my brokenness, my addictions, just being honest.
Immediately after, he said, "Wow, I want to talk to you more about my life too."
I have found that in the context of an exchange about our life journeys, people will often be curious about you and your journey with Jesus, even if they're not yet curious about the Bible or God.
3. If You Only Know How to Have One Kind of Conversation, You Only Know How to Have One Kind of Conversation.
One of my friends talks about conversations being art.
I love that—spiritual conversations as art. You don't know what will happen. Maybe it opens up the first time you talk with someone, maybe it doesn't.
Over the next months with Niko, we kept meeting. I shared Bible stories that impacted my life. We'd read together and ask each other, "What do you hear?" Then I'd share why it mattered to me. After a few times, I asked, "Would you like to read the Bible and get closer to God?"
He said no.
Summer passed. I got married. Fall came, and after several months break, we continued meeting again.
One time, I asked him “How are you?”
"Tinder sucks," he responded.
I wasn't expecting that.
"Ok... do you want to tell me more about that?"
As we talked more, it became clear he was frustrated that people didn't want deep connection. He wanted to connect with people but Tinder it wasn't working and he felt stuck. He asked me how I connected with people.
Now, that night I was planning to hang out and meet new people in our city centre, so I invited him to join me practicing conversations with strangers downtown. He came. We spent two hours being brave together.
Despite being a pretty shy guy, he actually enjoyed himself. He learned new ways to start conversations and I saw - again - the importance of being able to talk with Niko about the things that were important to him rather focusing on the type of spiritual conversation I might be interested in.
What Happened Next With Niko
I've finished sharing the three things I was going to share, but it wouldn't be right to leave you in suspense...
We were sharing a drink after being brave together, and the Bible came up again. "What do you think about God?" I asked.
"I believe in a triune God," he said. (Finland has a strong traditional Christian culture, so everyone hears "the triune God" at holiday camps.)
"What do you mean by belief?"
"I know about Him."
"That's not what belief means. There's so much more than that!"
"Really?"
"Absolutely! Would you like to figure it out?"
"I would."
Now he's in a group doing DBS, learning to know God. Great, right?
A Side Note
Like we said - when we think about evangelism, we can feel this pressure to perform. Like everything hinges on what we say and do.
What really impacted me with Niko was when I recently asked what has been most impactful in his journey. I expected him to mention our conversations, and perhaps my input into his life.
Do you know what he said?
"When I see you people, I see something I don't have. I see joy."
I thought I was good. But although our friendship and conversations were significant, it was the joy that he saw and experienced in community of Jesus followers that impacted him the most.
So Here's My Challenge
How many conversations have you started this week? Just conversations—not "evangelism", just being curious about people, interested in people.
That's the secret. Invite them into your life. Yes, have engaged conversations, read the Bible together and pray when there is opportunity. Those are important. But what people often feel most is the joy, the community, the something different they see.
Just start conversations. See what happens. Let the Holy Spirit work.
For Reflection
1) A Scripture :
"If the household is worthy, let your peace come upon it. But if it is not worthy, let your peace return to you. And if anyone will not receive you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet when you leave that house or town... Whoever receives you receives me, and whoever receives me receives him who sent me." (Matthew 10:13-14, 40)
What does this passage tell us about the connection between being received as a person and our message being received?
2) A thoughtful question :
What would change in your approach to spiritual conversations if you focused on being genuinely receivable rather than delivering a complete gospel presentation?
3) A possible application :
What are three specific conversations you could initiate this week with people God has placed in your world? No agenda except genuine curiosity and connection?
Discipling the Urban Harvest provides practical insights and encouragement to walk with God in multiplying discipleship in an increasingly urban world - growing as children of the Father, serving the communities He has called us to, and discipling those hungry to know Him.